Saturday, February 24, 2007

To be forgotten...

I dropped out of the fiber world rather abruptly about 6 years ago. I am not sure what I was thinking at the time. My daughter and I moved from our house that we were so rooted in and moved to a "so-so" apartment but nothing seemed the same and my enthusiasm sucked. I missed all my gardens and my routine as I was now back in the world of work and commuting while trying to deal with an angry 8 year old suffering a broken family. I am blessed with the sweetest daughter ever so thankfully her anger never manifested into anything I couldn't handle. I did other things that required nothing of me really. Video cames just eat brain cells and that was perfect for me at the time. Suddenly, the games are gone, I probably won't go back to "Evercrack", it is a pointless expenditure of energy when I love medievil history and everything about it. I love learning, I love being creative and I love fiber. Spinning always grounded me, it was meditation for me. My place to be just me. Why would I push away things that made me feel smart and part of something bigger. I have a bag full of ribbons from the NYS State Fair, Maryland Sheep and Wool Festival and the Fingerlakes Fiber Festival. Why didn't those inspire me to continue what I was good at? I always took a great pride that if the world were wiped out and I was one of a handful of survivors that I would be instrumental in the groups survival with my skills in weaving, spinning, gardening and so on. A quirky pride but all mine! :) So now I have come back to my world; a world I always loved. I am a dream loom short but I have everything still, I just packed it away "just in case".

So now the true test. Showing up to old haunts even if I feel intimidated. What if I am not remembered... or they can't place me but know they know me. What if I get "the look" as if I abandoned the entire group? I don't intimidate easily but I am not always hugely confident either but for weeks I have been thinking of stopping at the Sheel & Wool shop that is not even three miles from my house. And so today I awoke and said.. if you clean out that refrigerator and wash it out, you can get a treat at Louise's. See, I am my own enabler! And a very proud enabler too. Maybe that was my way of challenging myself to break out of my self imposed shell. In some ways I am very much a wall flower but bravely cover it up with a forced outgoing personality. It is not easy for me to step up and be heard in most situations but I do it.

And so.. I drove up the driveway and parked. The shop was open and down I went to a place I was a regular at. A place where I took classes, a place where I taught one intermediate spinning class; a place where my friends would congregate. Louise, the owner, saw me across the shop and immediately asked, "Is that Sharon I see?" A rush of feeling very good, I was remembered! She came straight for me and after a wonderful embrace and well wishes to each other, she even knew I had not been there for five years. How wonderful it was to be remembered. All it took was taking that one step. I am not sure why it took many weeks to do this but it is now done AND!! on Tuesday nights I have a place to go and sit and knit with others who gather there. New friends on the horizon while catching up with old.

The fiber community is one of the more warm communities I have been involved with. The SCA is as well and yes, every community has their uppity sorts that bring on that roll of eyes but those are few and far between.

I am so glad that I am back.

1 comment:

Ashley said...

That's great!

It must feel great to be recognized after so long.